BEARICORN

Photographer unknown.... It is believed the photographer
died shortly after taking this picture of a Bearicorn.

THE BEARICORN: Believed to be the only animal on earth more fearless than a Honey Badger, as well as an animal of the same line as such marvels as Chuck Norris, CNR, Narwhals and... Unicorns?
           According to W. R. Bessner the Bearicorn is a sub-species of Ursus arctos horribilis or a Grizzly Bear.
The Ursus arctos horribilis corniger daemon or Bearicorn is located in only a few locations in the world. Most of the worlds Bearicorns are located roaming an near the boy scout camp: Tahosa, or in the African Congo. Now by Applied Practical Environmental Science (APES) standards the Bearicorn is considered a Critically Endangered species of Bear, however Bearicorns don't need human pity, because, Bearicorn population has been increasing rapidly (while local human populations rapidly decreased).


Bearicorns and Humans
        Let it be said that "You can mess with a bull, you can mess with snakes, you can mess with CNR, you can mess with Chuck Norris (highly recommended that you do not do so), BUT YOU DO NOT MESS WITH A FREAKING BEARICORN." Humans and Bearicorns have never got along, dumb humans try to hunt Bearicorns-fatality is one of the better fates they will meet. It is well known that the Bearicorns have every intention of hunting Humanity to extinction, since monkeys, humans and fish are their main food sources.
Bearicorns don't care about anyone except for themselves, but in the off chance that you are unlucky enough to run into a Bearicorn here are your steps for survival:


#1 ...Give up you're not going to survive an encounter with a Bearicorn