Pledge or Tredge?

     Believe it or not Pledge (The brand of table type wax) once had a product known as "Tredge" the scent of the (Questionably so) product was strangely, "Garbage Stink." Who knows why the product was even made but it was out there. According to American citizen, Stewy Evans, the product was "Stinky beyond all belief," and was so stinky it "Poisened his wife with the ever killing stench thereof.

      Accordingly the U.S. Military was so impressed that they used the product to kill Enemy soldiers in times of war. The stink was so bad that eventually the military leaders banned it for being "Inhumane" and "Numbing to the soul."

     Soon Pledge shut the product down in fear of being possibly sued for such a dangerous product. However to this day the company that makes Pledge "S.C. Johnson"  has refused to give out the ingredients used in Tredge. Conspiracists believe that one of the hidden ingredients of Tredge may have in fact been pure unaltered plutonium.

ONE MAN ARMY

One Man Army: Where did the saying "one man army" come from? Though many people believe that people just came up with the saying, my research concludes there was one man who gave birth to the saying. He is a much lesser known man in history, and thus his name is not known. Though some believe he is not known because the only records of him were kept in the great library because of his incredible mind.

Legends, myths, and various historical documents tell of a king who was so incredibley strong he was the nations army. Some legends say he had magic hair, hair which was said to have a mind of its own. All in his path his hair slaughtered mercilessly. It is believed he had under his power at one time the entire continent of Europe. Many sources believe he may have used some sort of engineering to make it look like his hair was wiping out troops. He was believed to have a somewhat thin black beard, and to have worn armor at all times except at night (note the picture is not him just very close to what he is believed to look like. Dozens say he carried a sword that he never used.

Among historians one thing was for sure, myths spoke of a stench following him so strong that his enemies would keel over and die, we believe that this is a fact deep down. It was twisted out of truth, the actual truth is that he most likely used a device similar to the Korean turtle ship's poison spewing device.

The Bootfoot

Bootfoot: A mythical being said to be related to the legendary Bigfoot, said to be highly dangerous far more so than its relative the bigfoot. Supposed to feed on humans, toys and underly used Toyota cars. Though the Bootfoot may appear friendly, he is not at all, if he sees you he will A. Eat you (if hes hungry). B. Start pointing at you and then making body language that says "Chicken." or C. Try to stomp on you mercilessly with his boot. The Bootfoot is exceedingly rare and only lives in the basement of people who like garlic. Only one bootfoot has every been seen and sketched. It was sighted in Westminster, Colorado. The Bootfoot finds coffee especially delicious even though it is deathly toxic to the Bootfoot, thus people who drink coffee are more in danger of attack from the Bootfoot. The Bootfoot also prefers to eat children over Adults.